Hi, everyone. I am so glad to be back and not just a stock photo video, but actually me, you know, truthfully last week when it was time to record some videos, I just could not make myself get on camera. And, and that was one of the very first times that I was like, I just. I just don't have the bandwidth to do it.
So I just recorded it, the audio of it, and then just made a video to go with it. And it was kind of fun. And the part that I guess I hope for you is that you enjoy the variety that you see me most of the time, but then you had this video thing. And I kind of like to try to figure out how to mix them up.
Cause I watch other people's videos and sometimes they'll go back and forth between themselves and like a screen of something. So I'm going to work on that. I may kind of mix it up a little bit too. We're still working on this book together. And this [00:01:00] is the Freedom from Anxious Thoughts and Feelings by Scott Symington.
And cause I want to definitely cite that he's the one that's creating all this stuff, but I just want to tell you about it because I think for a lot of, you know, teens. You're not reading self help books and I totally get it. I love them and I probably liked them even when I was a teen, but probably not as much.
And it's the same way with self help podcasts. I'm sure you'd probably much rather listen to true crime or some comedy or whatever. And I like those things too. So. Anyway, we've been working on the two screen method, and I just love it so much because I think for anyone, but especially young people having some real visuals to use when you're trying to, to deal and manage with anxiety when it's so difficult is just a good way to do it.
And I just loved this two screen method. So I want to make sure you know about it, even though I didn't come up with it. So, today we're going to be talking about [00:02:00] how, you know, all along we've been talking about that screen that's in the corner of our eye that we can kind of see, but you know, we need to be focusing on the front that with anxiety and panic, this screen to the side is showing us all the scary things, tragedies natural disasters, everybody hates you, you're terrible, all that stuff.
But sometimes. The side screen is, has an addictive quality. Like it's trying to get you to do things that either are just a bad habit or something that could be an addiction. And so I want to talk about that a little bit because I feel like, I mean, a lot of Uncomfortable emotions can cause people to get into addictive behaviors.
And I truly, I think I've said this on the podcast before, but I, I believe that at least 90 [00:03:00] percent of the addictions that we see, whether it's addictions to opioids or other drugs or alcohol, a lot of those things have to do with numbing. uncomfortable emotions. And it doesn't just have to be anxiety and depression, but anxiety and depression are huge and they're related.
And I think addictions are very much connected to this. And he talks about that in this book, not that particular thing, but just that the screen sometimes isn't showing us bad things, but it's showing us things that we could do to feel better. So, It could be more innocent, like eat this half gallon of ice cream or, you know, eat this bag of chips or scroll on social media for three hours or binge Netflix all day long, things like that, which, you know, those aren't good things, [00:04:00] but.
They're not really life and death things are going to cause some consequences. And that's where you can kind of look at it more like the bad habits kind of thing, or could be destructive. But then this side screen could be showing you drink this alcohol, take these drugs, watch pornography. Gamble, shop until you don't have any money.
I don't know all those things which can become addictions. And so we're going to talk about how we can use the same, the same methods we've been talking about, but to help us with addictive behaviors as well. Now I guess I should say help us with bad habits and destructive behavior because addiction has kind of a different component to it and you really, not that these things wouldn't be helpful because they certainly would be.
But if you really want to get if you want to recover from an addiction, you're going to need some different kinds of help and not what I'm offering here to try to help you [00:05:00] distract yourself from it. So just, you know, FYI, when you're thinking about that, really the difference between these two screens is that when we have the anxious side screen, that's showing us all the tragedies and the. Disasters and saying all the bad things about you. We're trying to teach our brain that this stuff isn't really dangerous. You know, like going to school isn't dangerous.
Taking on a new activity isn't dangerous. Teaching a class or. You know, doing a speak, be a speaker in front of a crowd is not dangerous. It just makes us uncomfortable. And so with that side screen stuff, we're trying to teach our brain that this stuff is okay and we can do these things. Now with addictions, we're not necessarily trying to tell our brain that it's okay to use drugs and it's okay to use alcohol, but we are trying to still have our brain be.
not focused on the addictive things that it's [00:06:00] telling us are going to make us feel so much better and that we should just forget everything and do that thing. So I just want you to know the difference between when we're talking about some of the techniques. for the anxious side screen is different than the addictive side screen.
So do you know the great, the ancient Greek myth about Odysseus and the island of the sirens? Now there's a whole story like more than just the Island of the Sirens in the Odysseus, I don't know if it's a poem. I didn't look this up. It's a myth. I don't know if it's in poetry form or not. I remember we had to read it in high school, maybe even in college.
So if you're in high school, you're probably have read it or will have to read it in an English class. And I remember mostly. I mean, it was kind of a fun story. I didn't hate it, but there were things about it, the way they're written, you know, all the ancient stuff, [00:07:00] the way it's written, it's hard to understand sometimes that the teacher has to explain it.
But the part of the story that I want you to, to know about or think about is this Island of the Sirens. And so Odysseus was, they were going home after, you know, they were on a ship and they were going home after some kind of a And he had Odysseus had been told Previously that they would pass this island of sirens and the sirens were these.
I think it was described as beautiful women. I looked up, I tried to look up a picture that I could actually put up here so you could see it. And they're all like practically nude women. And I suppose that that is very tempting. I totally get it, but I didn't want to use that picture. So just picture, and some of them showed them as like mermaids and stuff.
And I don't know if that's really what they were. They also have been described as monsters. So, but there were these women that were singing this. Beautiful song. And it was so [00:08:00] seductive and it was so mesmerizing and addicting that if you could, if you heard it, you would just steer your ship right over in that direction, probably crash it.
You would get out of your boat because you would be like so mesmerized by these ladies and then they would devour you. You would die. And so I want to talk about that because sometimes this addictive side screen is like that island of the sirens. And in the story, you know, Odysseus knows that this is going to happen and he knows they have to go by this island on the way home.
So he tells his crew that they need to put beeswax in their ears so they can't hear the, this song that they're, this mesmerizing song that they're going to be singing. So, that helps them to not get distracted by it. And then he wants to hear it for whatever reason, I don't know. I think maybe. One of them was gonna tell him something that he did need to hear.
I don't remember that part But [00:09:00] so for whatever reason he wants to hear them, but he doesn't want to be compelled to Steer the ship off and then get out and be killed. So he has his crew tie him to the to the mast I think you know Whatever is holding up the sails tie him down and make it so tight that he cannot get out and he tells them no matter What I say no matter what crazy things go on Do not let me out of these restraints.
So they go by and the crew can't hear the song. So they're not getting distracted. And they're just like steadfastly helping Odysseus as he's like trying to get out of the, the restraints that they don't let him, they get past this island and they survive because they did not get steered in the wrong direction and go over to this island where these mesmerizing women are.
So the author uses a story, which I [00:10:00] love so much. And he said that four things that Odysseus does is exactly what we need to be doing when we have addictive things on our side screen. And so the first one is to anticipate the challenge. So because Odysseus knew that this was coming, he made a plan ahead of time to take care of it so that he wouldn't get drawn into it.
So, we just need to think about, okay, how do we make a plan for this, these urges and cravings and craziness that can go on the screen to tell us to do all these things? How can we plan ahead for it? And I have not ever had an addiction necessarily, but I have had some really destructive habits and behaviors in my life that I needed to stop doing.
And one example where I really used this anticipating ahead of time was that I, when I used to work outside [00:11:00] of the home, every day when I came home, I would just, I just wanted to binge eat something. And I would go in my pantry and I was like, where's the crackers, the chips, the chocolate, the, you know, whatever things that I just thought, Oh, I have to eat this and it's going to make me feel so much better.
And of course, when you're eating it, it does. But then afterwards you feel terrible because you're like, I didn't want to eat all that. Or you eat so much, you do feel physically sick. Or I was having weight problems because that's a lot of calories to be putting in, in a short period of time. And it, you know, it was happening pretty much every day that I was doing this. And so I worked with someone who talked to me about this planning ahead of time, and they said that when you plan your food ahead of time, like plan it the night before. I think some people even talk about planning the whole week of food, but it always worked best for me to plan the night before or the morning of the day.[00:12:00]
And I would just write down everything that I was going to eat that day very specifically. And then. You know, the, because I was planning it when I was calm and, you know, doing having all my problem solving faculties as part of me and deciding, yes, this is how I'm going to live my day. And then I just also told myself, I won't veer from this plan no matter what happens.
Like when I come home from work, I'm, my brain's going to tell me, Oh, just eat the stuff. Who cares? You know, this plan's dumb. It doesn't matter anyway, you know, whatever. And I'm just going to say no, I've planned that I'm going to eat these things and I didn't put a snack in my plan. So then I, there wasn't a reason to eat it.
And I, it really worked. Like I was able to really stick with exactly what I was going to eat during that day. And yes, I wanted to eat these other things. My brain told me to eat these other things and I just didn't do it. And [00:13:00] I found ways to. Something else to do during that time besides eating, because I was trying to break that habit of overeating after work and you can do this with anything.
So whatever, whatever is tripping you up and you know, whatever that addiction or destructive behavior or bad habit is, you know, think about when is this happening, where is it happening and then make a plan for how you're going to deal with it when the time comes, just like Odysseus did. So then the next one The next thing he did was he didn't lock into the siren song.
So, you know, his crew had their ears plugged, so they couldn't hear it and he could hear it and it was driving him crazy, but he was tied down and he couldn't go do the thing that He was wanting to do, and so not locking into the side screen is not giving it energy. Remember, just like we don't give it energy when we're [00:14:00] fighting against it and we're mad at it and we're trying to close the door on it and all that, which gives it energy.
We're not going to give the side screen energy by looking at it like, oh. I do want to eat that stuff. Oh, I do want to watch pornography. Oh, I do want to spend all my money at the casino or whatever. Or I do want to sit in bed all day and watch Netflix because that does sound good. That siren song of, Oh, it's going to be fun and you're going to like it and it's going to feel good and all that stuff.
Don't get sucked into it. And so just keep, you know, accepting it. Remember just like with the bad stuff. Okay. That screen is there. It's telling me that stuff is good. It's tells telling me that I'm going to like it. I'm going to allow it to be there. I'm going to allow the uncomfortableness in my body when I want to do something that I'm not allowing myself to do.
I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna let it sit there. I'm gonna let it flow through my body. And I'm going to keep redirecting to [00:15:00] the front screen, redirecting to the things I want to do, redirecting to feeling good when I don't eat that snack, redirecting to my family being happy because I got my homework done, or I did my chores instead of doing all this other stuff.
Or when it's more serious like drinking and drugs, you know, I'm going to look towards You know, the love of my family and my friends, and they don't want me to be involved in those kinds of things. And so whatever it is that the redirect is, but then you're going to allow the uncomfortable us to be there.
Cause it's going to be uncomfortable when you don't do things that sound really fun and good. And you're just going to let it be. And that that's how they, they didn't get locked into the siren song. Then Odysseus had accountability. You know, he told his crew about it ahead of time. Hey. This is going to be tough.
We're going to have to work really hard and you're going to close your ears off to it. And you're going to make sure you're going to work hard [00:16:00] and, you know, make sure that I don't get untied. And so he asked his friends to help him. He couldn't do that on his own. He couldn't tie himself up on his own because he would have just untied it and been able to go do the thing he wanted to do.
So having friends and family that are part of your plan. So if you're trying to break a bad habit or destructive behaviors, tell them, I want to stop doing this. You know, like in my overeating time, my husband is so beautiful. He is a baker and he, He is such a good cook and such a good baker and everyone raves about it and everyone wants him to make everything.
And he also loves to love people with food. That is his love language. Let me feed you and that means that I love you. And being somebody who's an overeater that's not a good combo if I don't want to be an overeater. So when I decided that I wasn't going to be an overeater anymore and I had, I made my own food [00:17:00] plan, I told him about it.
And I said, Hey, I'm going to make this food plan every day, and I'm only going to eat what's in the plan. So if you bake something and you offer it to me, I'm not going to eat it. Or if you. Say we're going to go to a restaurant last minute. I'm not going to go because I have to plan for it ahead of time.
Now, that doesn't mean I won't eat treats because I, you know, I think I want everyone to eat in moderation or, you know, eat things that they want to do sometimes. And I said, if you want to bake me something that you want to feed me, tell me ahead of time so that I can put it in my plan that day. Or if you want to go to a restaurant, we'll plan it ahead of time.
And I'll put that restaurant in my plan. And I also looked at the menu for that restaurant ahead of time and planned what I was going to eat when I got there, because it's really easy to plan. I'm going to eat a salad when I go to the restaurant. But then when you go there and you look at the menu and it's like, Oh, I want [00:18:00] these fries and I want this cheesecake and I want, you know, all these I just said ahead of time, this is what I'm going to order.
And then that is what I ordered when I was there. And so then again, there was no overeating when I did do the things, or if I, if he baked something, I ate a piece of it and then I didn't eat any of the rest of it or whatever. So there was ways to plan ahead. And I had accountability to say, this is how I'm living my life now.
And When, if you want to follow along, here's what, how it's going to go. And if you don't want to follow along, that's fine, but I'm not going to do what you're doing. And then the last thing that the Odysseus and his crew did was they redirected their life energy. Now, it was hard for Odysseus to redirect his energy because other than being tied down because he was hearing it and he was doing it.
definitely mesmerized by it and would have wanted to have gone to it, but he couldn't because he was physically restrained. And I'm not asking anyone to be [00:19:00] physically restrained, but he got his crew busy with other things. Like they were busy taking care of the boat and steering it to go in the direction they wanted to go because they were going home and he also had them busy keeping him restrained.
And so you just need to find healthy distractions from What is destructive behavior or bad habits that you're trying to break and so it's possible. I had to totally stop snacking because even finding healthy alternatives to snacking was. was a problem. But you could start with, you know, I'm wanting to snack on chips all the time.
Now I'm only going to snack on carrot sticks. One of the things that works with that is that you can barely overeat carrot sticks. Like, It's just, it's not fun. So you know, you probably wouldn't overindulge with carrot sticks, but if [00:20:00] you were somebody that would eat a whole truckload of them just because you need that, then maybe you need to think about something else that's distracting, like something that keeps your hands busy, that's like a craft, or you learn a new instrument, or you Put a new exercise routine in where you're going for walks or something, anything that's, that's good for you, but it's taking you away from what that siren song of trying to do these other things.
So I hope that this information has been helpful to you. I, I just love the visuals of it. And I just think people are so creative and just, I want you to know more information. And for many of my teachers in life, they haven't. necessarily come up with those ideas on their own. They're telling me ideas they got from someone else and they're just telling it in their version of it.
And if you follow me and like my style, then maybe this way of learning this is going to be helpful to you. Where maybe if you read the book, [00:21:00] you would have been like, whatever, or maybe there's just something that resonates about kind of an condensed version or maybe you don't like to read. So just listening to this idea for 20 minutes and soaking in like, Oh, I can totally do that.
So that's what I'm hoping to do for you in this episode and next in the next episode, we're going to be talking about what are some of those healthy distractions because you can have unhealthy distractions and there are ways like, remember, we don't want to ignore this. And so we're not totally distracting ourselves in the sense that we're shutting the door on it because again, that gives it energy.
So we're going to talk about what's that balance between allowing it to be there and knowing that that screen is showing us destructive behaviors that sound good and in distracting ourselves in a healthy way. So we'll talk about that next time. Can't wait to talk to you later. Bye.