Remember that awesome parent workshop I mentioned a few weeks back? Well, guess what? It's just ONE WEEK away!
Don't miss out on this essential event – register now in my show notes, description, or anywhere you see this link! ➡️ https://cheerful-writer-462.ck.page/1c0681206a
Why attend? Because we're tackling the BIG question: How to calm your teen's anxiety without triggering yours! I've been obsessed with finding the best way to teach this to parents. And I've finally cracked the code with a powerful triangle formula I'll unveil over the next few episodes.
Last week, we tackled perception: becoming aware of those pesky anxiety thoughts. This week, it's all about process: what to do with those uncomfortable emotions when they bubble up (anxiety being a major culprit, we know!).
Think you have no control? Think again! We'll explore techniques to help you process those feelings and move forward towards what you truly desire. Plus, I'll share some wisdom from the amazing Emily Maroutian: "When you give yourself permission to feel bad, you begin to feel good." It's all about letting go and allowing, not resisting.
Remember, anxiety is a part of life, not a life sentence. We'll learn to turn down the volume on that anxiety voice so it doesn't stop you from living your best life.
Bonus! I'll throw in another insightful quote from Emily: "When you allow yourself to feel fear, it begins to disappear." Feeling anxious? Acknowledge it, let it flow through you, and watch it fade. Powerful stuff, right? ✨
So, whether you're a teen or a parent (or both!), come join the workshop! We'll work together, learn together, and empower each other to navigate this anxiety thing like champs.
Don't wait! Register now and see you there!
Can't wait to see you there!
Cynthia
P.S. I promise, even the most skeptical teens will love my approach. 32 years of experience says so!
P.P.S. Dinner time at 6 PM Central on February 20th? Perfect! Listen to the workshop while you eat, then stick around for Q&A!
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Email me: ccoufal@cynthiacoufalcoaching.com
Text me: 785-380-2064
More information
[00:00:00] Hi, everyone. I wanted to make sure that you knew that remembered that the parent workshop is just a couple of weeks away and I want to make sure it might just be a week away. Yeah. And I want to make sure that you're there. So please go to my. Description in this video, my show notes, social media website, get registered for this parent workshop.
It's called how to calm your teen's anxiety without triggering yours. And I'm pretty excited about it because I've been trying to find the best way to kind of teach this information. To parents, since they're the ones that are, they're not going through the program, their teens are, and this, I just feel like this is the best way to do it.
And I've come up with a triangle formula that I'm going to teach during that time in these few episodes, my podcast episodes are going to be about those different, those [00:01:00] three pieces. So last week we talked about perception. And this week we're going to be talking about process. So you're going to be getting like a little sneak peek into it, but I want you to come and you can talk to me live and ask me questions and your team can come and you can work on it together because you have to work on it together anyway.
So learn some things that you can, you can use. I know that it feels like anxiety is in control and. I remember when I was young and really into my early adulthood, when I got up in the morning, you know, however I felt, it was just like, well, this is just the way life is. Like, if I didn't feel like doing anything, if I felt annoyed or angry or sad, or Anxious.
I just thought, well, that's it. There's nothing I can do about it. And I didn't [00:02:00] realize that I had so much control over how I felt and what was going on inside of my body. And I also. I blamed a lot of things and people, you know, like, well, my parents are mean and that's why my life is terrible or the teachers are mean or people at school are mean or there's something wrong with me or I don't, I don't fit in here.
You know, like all the things that you can think that are negative. And last week we talked about that inner mean person, my inner main mean person, well, just like everyone says mean, but I just always felt like mine was extra mean and just told me about. How I was never going to measure up and I wasn't good enough and something was wrong with me and I was damaged and you know, who knows all the things.
So
when you think that you don't have any control, and then you have [00:03:00] this inner mean person telling you all this stuff and. As a teenager, you don't have as much control as you do when you're an adult. I remember thinking, when I'm an adult, all these problems go away and I don't, I won't feel bad anymore and I'll just do whatever I want.
And there is some great things to being an adult I love, I would never wanna go back to being a teenager, but a lot of the things that I thought. We're not going to be a problem. We're still a problem. And so, you know, there's, you have to figure out how to deal with it. At some point, you might as well learn how to deal with it as a teen, because then you're going to go into your adult life without struggling and trying to figure it out.
You're already going to know. And that's what I think is so exciting. So,
so last week was perception and that's just becoming aware of what's going on. Like, what are these thoughts that are going on and [00:04:00] really trying to pay attention to them and listening to them instead of like trying to shut them out and ignoring them. So perception is like becoming aware. And then today is the process.
So it's like, what do I do with these uncomfortable emotions when they come up? Now, anxiety is one of, probably one of the more. The most uncomfortable ones, but there's all sorts of ones like loneliness, boredom, annoyed, angry, hopeless. I mean, all of those feelings feel terrible and we need to process all of them, but anxiety is the one that we're going to focus on.
And that's the one I focus on in my program. So we've invited it in, like we invited our mean person in last week and we're allowing it to reside with us and. So there are, there are things that we can do. That [00:05:00] help us to process that uncomfortable feeling cause we're allowing it in our body. And I explore that a lot with, and I do, I give different techniques depending on the client because there's a lot of different ways that you can process.
And I want people to process based on, you know, their own, their own situation. I have been obsessed with this author named Emily. Maroutian, and it's spelled M A R O U T I A N. I saw a quote of hers on Instagram or somewhere a couple weeks ago, and I could not stop thinking about it. I even did a Instagram post about it, like a reel about it because it was so, and so then I looked her up because you know, like when you see something that's really interesting to you and it really resonates, you're like, okay, who is this person?
I need to know more about it. So I [00:06:00] went to more information about her and I loved all of her quotes and I have a couple of them in this podcast today because I'm just like, it's so meaningful to me and she must do, I mean, I haven't dug into exactly who she is yet. I've just been reading her quotes, but she must do similar work that I do because everything she talks about fits for everything I'm doing.
So listen to this quote, the more you try to avoid something. The more you create it, there is no such thing as avoidance in energy because the energy is focused on the fear, not the desire. This is why we create things that we don't want and can't understand how we did it. It's usually because we took actions to avoid something we feared instead of taking actions to create the thing we desire.
That's just like fascinating to me. So just [00:07:00] think about anxiety. Like that's about fear. And many times these fears come up and we're so busy. Doing things to avoid that uncomfortable feeling that we're not doing the things that are going to get us where we want to go. And so we're creating this mess.
And then we're like, well, how did I get into this mess? And it's because we're taking actions against the fear were against the anxiety instead of taking actions. Towards what we want. And I just, that is just fascinating to me. And that's exactly what processing is, is that you're going to be taking steps towards what you want instead of taking steps against the anxiety because you were the against the anxiety is where you're like back when you're trying to keep, keep the inner mean person out.
And like, you're like, I'm not listening to that and I'm going to ignore it and I'm going to hold the door closed so they can't come in. And last week I said, invite it [00:08:00] in, and that's like feeling uncomfortable. And then you're going to come up with a way to go forward. So the process, when you process this, these uncomfortable feelings, that's taking action towards what you want to create and what you desire.
And what you desire is to feel better and to not let. Anxiety take over and waste so much of your time and take over all the fun things that you really want to do. One of my clients said, I want to have more friends and I want to actually go out and do things and I even plan. So there's an action towards what you want to, you desire is I make plans to do stuff, but then I don't go because I get so anxious before it's time to go.
Then I just end up staying home. So then it's like they took some action towards what they desired, but then they let anxiety, they were so that [00:09:00] that feeling was so uncomfortable that their action to stay home was towards the fear and the anxiety, not towards the thing that they wanted. And so. That is so much a part of like what we're going to work on is that I'm going to help them to be able to get out into the world and go even when it feels uncomfortable.
Because remember, we're never going to get rid of anxiety. And I know that's bad news and I'm sorry, I feel the same way. I don't. Want to feel anxious about things, but I know that it's just part of being a human and I'm okay with that. It's just like I don't ever want to feel grief. Grief feels terrible.
But think about it. If I actually said, I'm just going to take grief off the table. I'm never going to feel grief again because I don't want to. It's terrible, but that means that when. Bad things do happen and people that [00:10:00] I love die, then I can't grieve because I took it off the table. And I don't want that either.
I want to be sad when someone dies. I want to be angry about child abuse. I want to have these. uncomfortable emotions, because that will give me my full experience. I just don't want to stay in them. And so I'm going to avoid grief when I can, and I'm going to hope that I don't have to deal with it very often, but someday there's going to be a time when I'm going to need to, and there's already been time.
My my dad passed away, it'll be 14 years this summer and I'm still sad about it. Now it doesn't change, I'm still going forward. I'm still a positive person. I still love my life, but I would love to have a conversation with him. I'm sad that I can't experience my grandchildren with him. I'm sad that I can't just.
[00:11:00] Pick up the phone and talk to him. We had the best conversations and I'm not going to get to do that. So I want to feel sad about that, but I want to feel glad that I had this amazing dad and that, you know, grief means you had great love and I did have great love with him. And there's other people that I love like crazy and I would want to be sad if they weren't, if I didn't have access to them.
So that's kind of like a, a side note, but. I guess that's like saying to you, the good news is that anxiety, you will experience anxiety because you have a full life and you want to have a full life. And sometimes you're going to be anxious about doing something new or talking to somebody you like or.
You know, all the things and it's okay. We're going to figure out how to turn the volume down so it doesn't stop us from going to the party or it doesn't stop us [00:12:00] from talking to that person that we want to get to know better and we're going to be able to have this full, rich life that we really want.
Here's another quote by Emily Marushin because she's just so great. When you give yourself permission to feel bad, you begin to feel good. When you allow yourself to feel fear, it begins to disappear. So when you begin, you allow. yourself to feel anxiety, it begins to disappear. When you let yourself have emotions, you begin to feel immediate relief from them.
And it's because you're not holding on so tight to keeping it out. You're just allowing it in. And it's going to process through your body and it's going to go away. So this is the secret to pillar number two process. So I really hope I get to see you at the parent workshop, [00:13:00] teen or parent, both. I think it would be great if you did it together, but even if.
The parent gets the information without the teen. You'll be able to go and talk to them about what I teach and what my program is about so that you can talk them into it. Because I know sometimes if you hear about me or you're like, oh, I want my child to get help with anxiety, but then you talk to them about, they're like, I'm not doing that.
Or that's weird. Or who is I promise you when they meet me on the live. Parent workshop, or if you sign up for a consult to talk to me, they're going to decide to work with me almost always. I, I mean, obviously I can't have a hundred percent people liking me, but I would say in 32 years of working with teens, I've probably had to.
To maybe that didn't like me. So I promise you that they would enjoy working with me. I'm very open and safe. [00:14:00] And sometimes, I mean, even though I was an open and safe parent, I'm positive my kids didn't tell me everything because you don't tell your parents everything, but I could be like that surrogate parent who has that.
Ability to be able to talk to them about what's really important, but they don't have the wall up at two. You know, I don't want to hear what this person has to say. So my workshop is February 20th, 6 PM central time. So you know, that's my dinner time in central time. And so, you know, eat your dinner while you're listening to the live presentation and then.
By the time the presentation's over, you're probably done eating and you'll be able to ask questions and you know, find out more things that you want to know. Cause I don't know what all your questions are. So anyway, I want to see you at the parent workshop register in the description, show [00:15:00] notes social media, my website, all the things.
And I'm going to talk to you soon.