E 173 Happy New Year!!
[00:00:00] Happy new year. Today. I wanted to share with you my hopes and dreams for the new school year or the new year. I want to say school year, but the new semester. The new. Calendar year. I love fresh starts and new beginnings. And I need a lot of them and I've, I've actually used these kind of fresh starts and new beginnings. My whole life. When I was a teenager and in school, I would get excited about the new semester, the new year. And think about all the new things that I could do. But I did that as a teacher and a counselor too.
And I'm still doing that. And even though I don't have to do my years by semesters in school years anymore, I think it is so ingrained in me because of so many years of doing that. That I'm just going to keep doing it and it feels good to me and I work with teenagers, so I kind of follow a school schedule anyway. But we are really never [00:01:00] finished growing and learning. And I know that that could maybe seem like bad news, but it's actually good news. It feels like bad news because I even experienced this where I wish I would learn something and I would just learn it and I would never think about it again.
And I would never have to relearn it or rethink about it. But that is not the reality of being a human. And so the good news of that is that when we do make mistakes or we mess up or things, don't go the way we want them to. We get a fresh start, we get a new chance to do it again differently. And so that's what the new year always signifies to me is that I'm going to get to do this. Again, and I'm going to get to try to do it differently and better.
And I'm definitely, I've been spending a lot of time in the last month, really thinking about my wins, the things that went really well this year in my business. That I love. And things about me and my [00:02:00] family that went really well. Then I think about the things that I need to relearn or learn differently or try differently.
And so the things that didn't work out so well, and what do I want to do about that? And what do I want to do differently? What actions can I have? That those things that didn't work out as well as I would like them to, what can I do differently this year? And I already have a whole new list of things that I'm going to try this next year to see what happens if I try those things.
And some of those things are a little. A bit scary to me right now. But I'm going to do them anyway, because. That's how I'm going to learn and grow and be different and make even new decisions and have new ideas for the business this year.
A couple of summers ago. I don't think it was last summer two summers ago when I did an in-person group, which I do every summer.
I love and person groups. And sometimes I think I should probably do more of them. And maybe I will. That's kind of on my list [00:03:00] of trying some different times to do in-person groups besides the summer. But again, I kind of in school mode. Where the summer seems like this. Big opportunity to do different things that I don't normally get to do.
And I really could do different things anytime of year, but. Two years ago when I did that in person group, I had this kind of challenge for people where I talked about. How can you make your life? Different in just eight hours of the state, like by tonight, what could you be doing? And it kinda made me think about, you know, we use these gears. You know, 20, 24, I'm going to do these new things or I'm going to do this different stuff. But we really could be recreating and. Making these new decisions every single day.
And actually we need to, in order to make those bigger goals that we're dreaming about actually happened. So one of the things I said to them was how could you ruin your [00:04:00] day in the next eight hours? And we kind of brainstorm different things that you could do to ruin your day in eight hours. And it could be. As simple as eating a whole cake.
Now that might sound fun. And sometimes it does sound fun to me. But I know that even if it sounded fun at the time, or it was fun during the time I was eating the cake afterwards, I would feel sick or, you know, the next day or 10 days later, I'd be like, oh my gosh, I wish I would've never done that. And so eating a whole cake could ruin my day by the end of the day. It could be like yelling at somebody that you really love, but you just don't think about it and you're upset about something and you yell and that could ruin it because then at the end of the day, you're feeling bad or. Your relationship. Is damaged or whatever. And it could be really serious, like robbing a bank that would totally ruin. A lot of time, it will ruin the next, however many years of your life. [00:05:00] And so if we could ruin our day. In the next state hours, we can make our life and our day better and the next day hours.
So what kinds of things then we, we changed it. Brainstormed. What could you do? To make your life better by tonight. And, you know, it could be just drink more water so that I'm hydrated. Maybe it's. Resting when I need to, maybe it's going for a walk when I don't normally, or, you know, making sure that I eat healthy or whatever it is. Or, or hugging people that I love or sending a nice text to somebody I love.
So there's ways that. In just a few minutes, you can make your day better. So all of this has to do with being intentional and planning and choosing how. And so, as I was thinking about planning and choosing my year, like, what do I want my year to look like? What new things do I want to try? What things do I want to not do anymore? You know, that's, [00:06:00] that's like looking at. 52 weeks.
But what about if every quarter I was doing stuff that led to that bigger goal? What if every month I was specifically doing things. What if every week I was doing things. What if every day I was doing things towards those bigger goals. And so. I wanted to share that with you, because I think sometimes. We think that we, especially as teens, I know I looked at. Adults as well.
They have it figured out and I'm still a mess and I'm trying to figure out how do I get to that adult time where I don't have problems anymore. Or how do I get to that adult time where. I have it all figured out and you don't. And I think.
I mean, I probably saw some adults that I was like, oh yeah, they don't have a figured out.
And I'm sure you can think of some, but the ones that we really look up to, we assume that they have it all figured out and they [00:07:00] don't either. And none of our peers have it all figured out. And we just forget that a lot. I forget that a lot and I love it when people that I really admire. And look up to tell me. Yeah, I messed up or I didn't do that.
Right. Or I wish I would've done this because I'm like, oh, it's okay. To be messed up sometimes and to not know, because even the very best of people. Don't have it all figured out. And I just want you to know that. I was thinking about Three years ago, I went on kind of this weight loss journey and I lost 54 pounds.
And. It was, I kept it off forever and it was so easy. And. I think because it was easy, not, it wasn't that it was easy to lose the 54 pounds, but once I got to where I wanted to be, and my mindset was really where it needed to be. And I had this intentionality where I was doing certain things all the time.
It [00:08:00] did become easy or at least thought. Not thoughtless sounds. But I didn't have to think about it. It just, you know, there was a routine, I just did it, it was easy. I didn't have thoughts about, well, I hate this or I'm mad about it or whatever the way I had for so many years, because I did it differently and I liked it.
But I think because it became where I, it was so routine, I didn't think about it anymore. I kind of forgot the mindset that I needed to be in to maintain it. And so.
I think I. Like it almost snuck up on me in a way where I didn't realize things were happening until I went to the doctor in October and they were like,
You know, this weight is different, you know? I significantly different than it was, and we just want to make sure everything's okay. And I was like, oh yeah, I haven't been paying [00:09:00] attention to that. And this holiday season. Was the worst it's been for me as far as like eating and like not almost like not caring or not paying attention to it. And so I was kind of. It was kind of angry at myself because I was like, listen, you already had this figured out. And then I reminded myself. That I'm never really going to have it all figured out.
And that feels like bad news. At first. I'm like, shoot, I want to get over this and stop thinking about it. But then I'm like, It's also good news because I get to rethink this again. For who I am now, three years later. And maybe it looks different. And what does it look like and what, what makes me feel okay about it and giving myself love and grace for. Eating a lot of things that I didn't plan to eat and being, you know, like, okay, well that's who I was [00:10:00] at this time. And who do I want to be and what am I going to do next?
And being okay with all that and not being mean to myself.
And I feel so much better about that. And I have a few more days of, well, when you. Here this and see this there's no more days, but while I'm recording this, I have a couple of more days. Of. Kind of like, Just allowing myself to be me. Before I really like get super intentional about my days because there's just too many things. In my mind, and this is just a thought and this doesn't, it isn't necessarily the truth, but. I feel like there's just too many. Obstacles right now.
And I'm just going to allow myself to be me. And then I'm going to. Have a new day, um, when you're seeing this, it will be my new new day. Every day is a new day. It doesn't have to be new year's day. It doesn't have to be. Even the new [00:11:00] miss new semester, the new school year, it can be any day. You can just pick a day that, okay, now I'm, I'm going to start paying attention to, you know, certain things and I'm going to learn from. The mistakes or things that have happened and I'm going to move forward and I'm going to love myself through it.
It's going to be okay. And here is what I want from you. We're what for you? You can learn how to manage your anxiety. Even if you haven't ever been able to manage it before. Just like when I lost that 54 pounds. I had worked. Literally at least 30 years, trying to figure out how to lose 54 pounds. And I finally figured it out.
And if I would have thought, well, I've never been able to figure it out. So who cares that I never would've been able to figure it out. And even if you've never been able to manage your anxiety before. 2024 is the year you could learn to manage it.
[00:12:00] You can try any new things in 2024 that you've never tried before.
2024 is, is your year to feel good when you wake up in the morning. 2024 is the year that you get the grades that you secretly secretly wish you were getting. 2024 is when you make decisions. And believe in them. 2024 is when you stop feeling hopeless about your anxiety and you start taking action.
And if you are a parent listening to this 20, 24 is the year that you take control of your own anxiety. So that you can feel better and parent in the ways that you want to. 2024 is the year that you stop beating yourself up every night about how you handled your team. 2024 is the year that you ask someone to help you manage all of this. You can do all of [00:13:00] these things on your own.
Of course. And I have tried to do like the weight loss thing. I had tried to do it on my own. Like I bought some books. And I. Talk to friends and I. You know, try. Like I had an idea of what I wanted to do, but then I was doing it on my own. But when I finally worked with someone else to do it, that's when I learned how to do it. And I know that. I know you can manage anxiety on your own.
I know as a parent, you can deal with your teen on your own. But you can do it better and faster and more aligned to you. If you get someone to help you with it, and whether your team needs help or you need help or both. When someone walks alongside you, it's just different. And if you don't understand what a life coach is, think about me as a mentor. Maybe the word mentor makes more [00:14:00] sense to people.
And I really do think mentor people. If you say, do you have a mentor or do you want to mentor people get, oh, that's someone who walks alongside me and helps me. But when you say life coach either, sometimes people think it's sort of cheesy or weird. Or they just don't know. What does that mean? What do they do?
I would be somebody. That could bring, you could bring your newest challenge to. And we would look at it together. And then I could help you create a plan on how to work it through. The ideas that you will come with up with will surprise you when you're doing it with someone else, because you can just see your problems differently. You can see anxiety differently than you've ever seen it before, because I have worked with so many people on anxiety and I know the questions to ask you questions that you would never think of to do on your own.
Here's what one of my clients wrote in a testimony a [00:15:00] recently.
Cynthia listens to the entirety of my situation. No matter how many details or irrational thoughts are. And she asks the perfect questions and allows me to answer them and think about them in a way that is constructive for me. I have a little journal and I love this. I've actually had her. Copy. Like take a picture of it, send it to me.
Cause it's so funny, but she has a little journal with Cynthia's one liners. And they, they have single handedly changed my entire perspective on how I view myself and the world around me.
I love that. You can change how you feel. You can make this semester in school the best semester you have ever had, even though, even if you've never done that before. I know, it feels like you don't have control. [00:16:00] I remember as a team, I just thought everyone was. Controlling me and everyone was ruining my life and it was everyone else's fault. But let's make 2024. The year that you realize where your anxiety is coming from. And have new ways to approach it. It doesn't have to take anything away from your life.
What if you could get on the honor roll this semester. What, if you could get your driver's license.
What, if you finally tell your crush that you like them and you actually start dating them. The possibilities are endless. Get on my calendar. And just talk to me about what's going on for you. B just get on there. Tell me all the details. No matter how messy it is. And I can at least help you come up with some sort of plan or tell you what it is I could do to help you. [00:17:00] You don't have to take. That you don't have to do it. You don't have to sign up with me, just find out what is it that I could do to help you as a parent or, and, or as a young person. And then decide. And. yOu could decide.
No, and that's a perfect answer too, because you have to be ready. To do that. I think about every time. I tried to lose weight. I was not really ready. I was kind of ready, but I wasn't a hundred percent ready. But when I decided to go a hundred percent in or work with someone pay for it. It was a game changer.
And again, Anxiety happens for everybody. I get anxiety. Everyone gets anxiety. It's not going to go away. Working with me, we'll help you see it totally different and give you tools that you can use the rest of your life to manage it. But it's not going to go away and that's good news and bad news. The bad news is.
Yeah, you're going to have to keep [00:18:00] working on it, but the good news is you get to keep perfecting it and you get to keep making it better and better and better for yourself. And every day is a new day. Every semester is a new semester. Every year is a new year. So. I just want to be that person to walk alongside you and ask the questions.
I know you wouldn't think of. To get your brain to go, oh, that's it. And that's exactly what life coaching is. That's what mentoring is. So. I will talk to you soon.